Friday, April 11, 2008

Situation normal all f-ed up...

No, not me. I'm on an email list and someone wrote a message complaining about doctors at a certain hospital who, when they arrive to find a woman labouring on her hands in knees, or squatting, or in some other unapproved position, remark, "Well, how am I supposed to deliver this baby if you're in that position?"

I thought up a great comeback lying in bed last night.

"Just make sure the baby doesn't hit the floor. If you can't do that, my husband will."

I'm not sure how I am in labour - I've never done it. My son was born by c-section after 12 hours of pitocin did exactly...nothing (except lower his heartrate).

HOWEVER, I suspect my true response from my true labour self (who's totally DONE being nice to ANYBODY at a hospital) would be:

"Fuck off. If you can't fucking catch a baby, get the hell out!"

Yeah. That's me.

Good thing I'm planning a homebirth.

No comments: